Tense for distance and politeness
Use tense and aspect to create politeness and distance: I was wondering…, We were hoping…, I’d have thought…, It would seem that…
In this lesson you will
- Use past and continuous forms for politeness
- Use would-distancing in claims
- Recognise distancing in professional communication
Learn
Moving a verb back in time makes a request or opinion feel less direct: I wonder → I was wondering* if you could help. We hope → We were hoping to discuss the terms.*
Continuous adds tentativeness: I’m hoping you’ll reconsider. We’ve been thinking about your proposal.
Would-distancing softens claims and disagreement: *I’d have thought that was obvious. It would seem that the figures are wrong. I would suggest that… One would expect…*
Future-in-past for gentle correction: I was going to* say that there might be a small problem. We were going to propose…* Also Did you want…? (service language).
Examples
- I was wondering whether you’d had a chance to look at the draft.
- It would appear that there has been a misunderstanding.
- I’d have thought the deadline was unrealistic.
- Did you want to sit by the window?
Vocabulary
distancing
making language less direct
tentative
not certain or forceful
misunderstanding
a failure to understand correctly
reconsider
think again about a decision
it would appear
it seems (formal, tentative)
Practice
Most polite:
Speaking
Make five requests and three disagreements to a senior colleague, all using distancing tenses and would.
Writing
Rewrite a blunt email (write it first, 60 words) into a distanced, courteous version (100–130 words).
Lesson quiz
“I was wondering…” refers to…
Review
Key points
- Past for distance: I was wondering.
- Continuous for tentativeness.
- would: It would seem, I’d have thought.
- was going to for gentle correction.
What you learned
- ✓ I use tense for politeness.
- ✓ I soften claims with would.
- ✓ I recognise distancing.
Grammar reference: Past continuous, Modals of deduction: must, might, can’t